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While You Were Offline: And Now, Your Weekly Michael Cohen Update

As the end of Net Neutrality looms large—it ends on June 11, although some states are continuing it on their own—it says a lot about the internet that people got much more agitated about the cancellation of Brooklyn 99 than anything else last week. Look, we love the show too, but there are more important things to think about: Iran and Israel are squaring off against each other! Ebola is back! The Met Gala blew everyone’s minds! People can’t get over how Kristen Stewart looked at Cate Blanchett at Cannes! It’s fair to say the internet has had a lot to think about this week. And then, there’s everything below.

'This Is America'

What Happened: The most talked about thing online last week? That would be the latest video from Childish Gambino.

What Really Happened: Fresh off his appearance on Saturday Night Live, where he was both host and musical guest, Donald Glover decided to go for a victory lap by releasing the video for his new track, "This Is America" in a suitably understated manner.

Apparently, people liked it.

No, really; it was immediately proclaimed as groundbreaking, politically potent, socially conscious, and above all, thought-provoking—or, at least, thinkpiece-provoking. (And, no, that’s not Trayvon Martin’s dad at the start, playing guitar.) The internet was in awe. And also very ready to attempt to explain the video to anyone and everyone around:

But even as the video’s director and choreographer explained what they thought about the video was all about, Glover himself stayed quiet. Meanwhile, there was a sizable group of people who couldn't help but compare Glover with another famous musician they didn't expect this kind of ambitious work from.

As for Kanye West himself?

…Is that approval? Or simply sharing a link?

The Takeaway: There was, it turns out, another link between Get Out and "This Is America" beyond the potential sunken place riff at the end of the video.

Let's Un-Make a Deal

What Happened: In which the United States withdraws from a treaty that it helped negotiate, because reasons.

What Really Happened: As many things do, it all started with a tweet from President Trump.

And just that tweet alone was enough to drop oil prices and prompt much concern about what was to come. And that was before anyone knew what he was going to say.

Well, kind of. After all, the idea that Trump would withdraw from the deal was hardly new; he’d been criticizing it since he started campaigning back in 2015. Last year alone, he called it an "embarrassment" and "unacceptable," with White House insiders reportedly saying that he “threw a fit” about re-certifying it. So, everyone kind of expected him to pull America out of the agreement—especially after it leaked that he’d apparently told French President Emmanuel Macron that he was planning to do so. And then came the actual speech on Tuesday.

Even if it wasn’t a surprise, the announcement was big news, with everyone having something to say about it. Unsurprisingly, the other countries that are part of the agreement weren’t very impressed with what happened.

Actually, one nation was.

And there are other supporters of the decision, it should be noted.

And what does this mean for Iran, anyway?

The Takeaway: Still, surely this will all end well. Somehow. Maybe. Possibly.

And Now, Your Weekly Michael Cohen Update

What Happened: Just when you thought things couldn’t go any worse for Donald Trump's personal lawyer Michael Cohen, they got worse. A lot worse.

What Really Happened: Remember when people thought that the Stormy Daniels story was just a sideshow to the entire Trump presidency? Well, this week Daniels’ lawyer continued to reveal things that looked to be far, far more meaningful than anyone could have suspected.

Turns out, certain other people have noticed what was happening, too. You know, like the kinds of other people who are running special investigations.

Oh, and it wasn’t just Michael Avenatti who was on this story. Just hours after he broke the news, actual journalists confirmed it with their own independent reporting.

It also wasn’t just Russian oligarchs who were in on the deal, either.

Man, this sure doesn’t look good for Cohen or anyone in his orbit.

The Takeaway:

Pressed About the Press

What Happened: President Trump considered the matter of object permanence when in comes to journalistic inquiry, by musing aloud about removing press credentials to the White House for outlets that run unfavorable coverage.

What Really Happened: In the midst of everything that’s happening, sometimes you just need to remember that the president has often butted heads with the free press. Last week, he sent out a reminder.

Now's a good time to call to mind that the Trump campaign also revoked the press credentials of the Washington Post during the election, in addition to other outlets, so there is a precedent here. Nonetheless, this wasn’t the most popular suggestion.

Even the White House Correspondents' Association responded.

Of course, the suggestion made waves in the media for obvious reasons.

Despite all her attempts at distraction, the White House press secretary wasn’t ruling the idea out.

But, then again, maybe it’s not even possible.

There’s also the simple fact that it wouldn’t actually solve the problem Trump is complaining about; removing White House press credentials wouldn’t stop people writing stories that are critical of him or his administration. In fact, the majority of stories he’s taking issue with aren’t coming from journalists with White House credentials, or rely on journalists being in the White House itself. There’s not really anything to gain from doing it, aside from maybe playing to Trump’s base.

The Takeaway: Meanwhile, perhaps we’re all looking in the wrong direction when it comes to what’s really interesting about the president's tweet.

Gina Haspel's Confirmation Hearing Gets Heated

What Happened: When it comes to the future director of the CIA, some people are wondering just how important a little torture is between frenemies.

What Really Happened: Last week Gina Haspel, current acting director of the CIA, testified in front of the Senate in preparation for a vote to confirm her as the permanent holder of that position. It promised to be a tough session for her; a 33-year veteran at the Central Intelligence Agency, much of her career has been conducted under top-secret circumstances, but her most high profile role was supervising a secret prison in Thailand where suspected al-Qaeda members were tortured—with videotapes of the torture later destroyed, again under her supervision. Ahead of the hearing this week, the White House was doing its best to downplay that aspect of her career and instead attempted to portray it as a victory for a smashed glass ceiling.

Certainly, Haspel’s nomination was one that drew a particular type of attention ahead of the hearing.

…And the hearing itself was far from being a relaxed, polite affair. At least from the perspective of those watching in the room where it happened.

What Haspel was saying herself was no less dramatic.

As the media wondered what to make of Haspel’s testimony, the administration was proud of the performance.

While Haspel is likely to get confirmed, there are certainly some obvious "no" votes in the Senate, with some Senators speaking out publicly against her.

The Takeaway: Onion, take it away…

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